Sympathy flower etiquette: answers to common questions

Sending flowers after a death is a way of saying what is hard to put into words. These are the questions people ask most often, with short answers.

Do sympathy flowers have to be white?

No. White is traditional and always appropriate, but soft colors such as pink, lavender, blue and cream are just as common. If the person loved a particular color or flower, choosing it is a personal and welcome touch.

Can funeral flowers be colorful?

Yes. Bright flowers are often chosen for a celebration of life, or for someone remembered for their warmth and energy. If you are unsure about the tone of the service, softer colors are the safe choice.

Should I send flowers to the funeral home or to the family's house?

Arrangements meant for the service, such as standing sprays and wreaths, go to the funeral home. For the family at home, a vase arrangement or a plant is easier to keep and lasts beyond the week.

When should funeral flowers arrive?

Before the service begins. Many funeral homes receive flowers the day before or on the morning of the service, but times vary, so it is worth checking with the funeral home.

Is it all right to send flowers after the funeral?

Yes. Flowers that arrive a week or two later, when the visits have slowed down, are often especially appreciated.

Are flowers appropriate in every faith?

Not always. Flowers are not part of traditional Jewish mourning, so a note, a donation in the person's name or food for the family is usually preferred, although some Reform and secular families welcome them. Customs vary in other traditions too. When in doubt, ask someone close to the family.

What should I write on the card?

Keep it short and sincere. The person's name and a memory, or simply "Thinking of you," followed by your name, is enough.

When you are ready, you can see our sympathy flowers.